Value

Yesterday we were at the Children's Home for the sick and terminal. How do you choose? How do you choose out of 40 cribs which child needs to be loved the most? It's funny, we all come with preconceived ideas of what an experience is going to be like. When I heard we would be visiting here I thought it would be the "throw away" children of Haiti. The babies no one cared for. My experience today proved my assumptions wrong.

In American culture we place value based on where you come from, what kind of job you have, what you look like, what kind of clothes you wear, how talented you are, etc. In Jesus world things are much different. I watched the mother of a 2 month old who was one of the newest babies. Silent tears were streaming down her face as she gazed at her baby boy.Her heart was breaking that she had to leave him here. This baby had unsurpassable value to her. Than there was the 10 year old girl who was visiting her 15 month old brother. He could not have weighed more than 10 lbs. His skin hung from his bones, his face skeletal, his hands wrapped, and IV in his head. His face looked like he was 80 years old. I wasn't sure how he was still alive. The sister lovingly changed him. She tenderly held him and fed him through a feeding tube. He looked so small & fragile in her strong little arms. You could see she loved him intensely. She valued him like a priceless treasure. There is something in these moments we need to grasp. Our culture places value on things. Jesus world turns everything upside down. These children are so valuable to Him. Jesus loved children. He held them and healed them. He told His disciples not to hinder them because the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these. AMEN!

By Laura Fixsen

Heartaches.

Today is only day THREE for me. I am left feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, and completely emotional. I met another small boy, he was the smiliest kid at the whole place. When you look into those big brown eyes and shoot him a smile, the corners of his lips moved towards his ears and the little white, straight teeth inside his mouth began to show through. You wouldn't even think that this little guy was sick by disposition and lively personality. Looking at his little body you could tell he had been struggling with undernutrition. The bones on his arms shown through and his legs were stick thin. His little feet were swollen with fluid and his belly was plump. His name was Alexander. He looked no older than four, but his wrist band indicated that he was seven.

Laura and I were sitting down on a patio of cement with our arms full of sick babies. Alexander came over and sat by us. We smiled at him and naturally he smiled back. Laura moved her head towards his, and he moved his towards hers until they were touching. A little smile creeped up on his face, and you know that he was enjoying the new little game of head-touch. It was a sweet little moment shared by the two of them. Once their game was finished, I put my hand up like a high-five and his little hand met mine. Our fingers locked together and we held hands for several minutes. He shown me a big smile. You could tell he liked the attention and felt our love for him.

While sitting on the patio, my arms were still full with the small child but I wanted to reach out to Alexander. I did the only thing I could think of, rub his little back. I rubbed his back for several minutes. You could tell he liked it cause he slowly leaned in closer and closer. After a while he lay his little head down on the cement. My heart ached as I thought about how uncomfortable he must be. When he looked at me, I pat a spot on my leg and he smiled. He stood up and sat down on my leg. Now I was sharing my lap with two small boys. I could tell Alexander liked the love. I held his little hand and rubbed it. He smiled again.

When it was time to leave, we walked back towards the room with all the sick children. I kissed Alexander goodbye and told him God Bless you. I waved and walked into the room knowing this was going to be one of my hardest goodbyes. I walked into the room, put the other baby back down in his crib, and turned my head to see Alexander still standing there by the door. His face no longer shown a smile, as tears began to fill in his big eyes. I grew weak inside and my heart ached with sorrow. I walked towards him, knelt by his side and saw tear drops streaming from his eyes. He knew this was the end of our visiting time and possibly the last time we would see each other. I felt so helpless inside. I kissed him again, but knew I just had to walk away. I grew weaker.

I will never forget little Alexander. I pray that he grows into a strong boy and that God will provide for him both in physical and spiritual health.

I love you little Alexander.

My word of the day is "shutters".At the Healing Haiti guest house, I found a book called..."Glimpes Of God...Simple yet amazing ways God reaveals Himself to us" written by Julie Miller. She describes moving to France and how she had to get used to shutters & not screens on the windows. Sometimes bugs or a stray bee would fly in and also how they blocked the light out & she'd stumble around in the darkness. She goes on to say how it reminded her of the human heart and how if we crack it open to new people & experiences it makes us vulnerable & exposes us to the possiblilty of being hurt. Yet if we kept the shutters of our heart closed, we take the risk not hearing the voice of God & can just stumble through life without having our spirits fully awakened as God meant for them to be.
Spending the morning at a home for sick & dying babies can't help but awaken your senses. I looked up from one precious, fragile little baby I had been holding & saw light streaming through the shutters on the window.....I know God's light was filling my heart!

written by: Michelle Schroeder
June 29, 2011

another orphanage....no pic for today not allowed ....hope to have more to post tomorrow.

Hello from Haiti,

Today was a beautiful hot day here in Haiti. We started our day with a wonderful breakfast to prepare us for the day. Our first stop a place that parent take their sick and dieing babies. I was met at the door with an overwelming feeling of sorrow as the rooms were all filled with many many small cribs most with crying babies in them. We arrived in time to finish feeding breakfast to some of smallest and sickest babies. My first baby was approx 8 months old maybe 15 lbs and could hardly hold her head up however she ate rice ceral quite well just as we finished to my amazement her parents came and aske very shyly of they could hold their baby. My eyes filled with tears of joy to know that this little package of joy parents were there to vist and help care for their son. I gladly turned him over. I ventured back in and found the littlest bundle in the back corner. This baby had a head curly hair that so reminded me of my own children when they were newborns I instantly melted. This baby by far was the smallest child I have every had the oportunity to hold. He weight maybe 3-4lbs I wept the entire time this child was in my arms .... I prayed for him to fight, grow stronger. I fear and wonder if he survived this great fight what would become of him, what opportunities would be offered to him in this crazy world he had been born into. This place was not all sorrow however each child you touched, held, fed and looked deep into their eyes left an imprint on my heart forever, This all before lunch wow....

In the afternoon Shelley, Michelle and I decided to vollenteer at the wound clinic I didn't think I could handle emotionally another session with the babies so I thought wounds why not I have seen my fair share of smelly wounds. We boarded a van with a group of people from Spain and 2 sisters and headed off the to clinic. Not knowing where I was headed next I have just have surrendered to where the Lord wants me to go. Partial into our trip one of the sister said to the other oh my we forgot the baby and asked the driver turn around. The ladies and I all secretly hope to hold this child as we traveled to the wound center. Not fully understanding what was happen the nurse appeared back at the van with only a small box placing in gentlely on the seat in the van. As we departed the other sister asked us to say the rosery for God newest angel that we were taking to the hospital. My heart sank I went into silent panick mode to think it could have been one of the children I had held earlier that morning. I wept inside as I mumbled the rosery. The caous of the world outside slid away as we prayed for God newest angel. It took about 45 minutes to go maybe 15 miles (this would be a hour story all by itself). We arrive at the wound center. The Sister said as we began to "remember this could be Jesus in front of you". Wounds larger then anything I have ever seen......we cleansed scrubbed and wrapped wounds for people who had lined up outside to see us. Through all this the people with there horrific wounds smiled and where so gracious and gave me ultimatley more than anything I could have given them.

My day ends with a new respect for the poor as they have far more to give than I could have ever imagined. When you look deep into someones eyes you are truely capturing a piece to their spirit. I only hope that I can reciprocate and leave them with a little of mine.

Good night we are off to another ophenage/school tomorrow hope to have more pic as today children and

Stephanie

OUR FRIEND, MATT!

Pray for our friend Matt today as he makes his way up to Grace Village to help with the construction and the Haitians building the orphanages.

Matt is a wonderful man that was recently added to our Healing Haiti team. I have been able to see Matt's love open up to everyone (and I mean EVERYONE) he encounters. It has been fun to see him interact with the Haitians and to see his heart broken in Haiti.

RESCUE ME LORD

God, Watch over your precious children. Give them nourishment both in body and in spirit. We pray that you have your way with the sick infants and children that we held, fed, and changed today. We place them in your protection and care. We thank you for putting them in our paths. Help us not to forget how these poor, sick, and helpless children impacted our lives. We pray this in your name, Jesus. Amen.

When you hold a sick child in your arms, you feel so helpless. Their limp bodies pressing tightly against your skin, sweat dripping down their faces soon to mix with the sweat from your body and carefully mixing together in a pool on your shirt. They hold on tightly to you, nearly squeezing you as though you’re their own mother. They carefully place their head on your shoulder and just lay there so calmly. The heat between your two bodies and the Haitian heat causes more sweat to trickle down your face and you think to yourself, how can they continue to hold so tight, how are they not irritable because of the heat. They continue to lay calm for minutes, even hours. Every now and then you adjust their position on your body and watch as they gently reach to the beaded cross necklace around your neck. Their little fingers tracing the lines of the cross and moving the beads gently around in a circle. It’s a beautiful thing to observe. You cannot help but say a small prayer for the child asking God to provide for their benefit.

As you sit caring for the child throughout the day, you cant help but wonder where the child came from, if he or she will survive, and what kind of home they will go back to. As they chug down a large sippy cup of water, you wonder if that is the only clean water they will get for weeks, months, years, or even a lifetime. As you help feed them a large bowl of rice and beans or oatmeal, these same thoughts race through your head. You become so attached to the child you’ve cared for all day that you just want to take them with you, bring them home, and provide for them. I wish it were that easy.

Today I held a 2 year old boy named Nagale, probably weighing under 30 pounds, with very little hair on his head, dry skin, and a body as limp as a cooked noddle. His big brown eyes immediately drew me in today, and as I picked him up from his crib, he molded to my body as though he were made of puddy. Every breath Nagale took was full of razzels—he had water in his little lungs. My buddy was most likely sick with pneumonia (and a few other things.. ). The whole description above explains the emotions, feelings, and experiences I had while caring for Nagale. It’s an overwhelming experience that drains you emotionally. You feel helpless no matter how much love you give him.

We have all seen sick children and we all see how sick some kids can get, even in America. However, I think it breaks your heart even deeper when you see sick children in a third world country. When you see the conditions they live with on a daily basis, when you see the lack of medical supplies, equipment and professional help, as well as the lack of resources to get care in the Hospital, you feel completely fragmented...

Another experience that broke my heart, shook me up and filled me with Joy was meeting another missionary. My new “zanmi” (friend) was a young Haitian woman. Her mission group were mainly Haitian people that were currently living in the United States. I spoke with the lady for a while and learned a lot about her. She said she had family here in Haiti, but was working in the states. During our conversation she expressed her desire to come back to Haiti to help her people. She told me how much they need the help and how she just loves the children. “It’s hard to know where to even start here” as she expressed her feelings of helplessness for her people, “but I want to start something or be involved.” I was so moved by this Haitian woman. So many times people assume that the own people just flee the country or are not so eager to help those living in complete poverty, however this woman and the rest of our Healing Haiti Haitian staff, school teachers, and orphanage directors are living testimony to the hearts the Haitian people have for their own people. I see God moving through these people. They have touched my life and have remind me that there is so much good in this world, despite the dark, sadness and sin we see on a daily basis.

I thank God for being so alive today through my experiences and the people I have encountered.

SONG DEVOTION FOR TODAY: RESCUE

Zanmi means friend.

Being here for my second time is almost more amazing than the first time. While I remain caught in between the feelings of "just you wait for what's next" for my group and trying to remember that this is their first time experiencing these emotions, feelings and interactions, I find myself feeling even more connected to the people. I feel as though my heart has been broken even more than my last trip to Haiti. While I saw a lot of poverty, devastation, and filth that always shocks me, irritates me, and makes me moved beyond measure, it was my Haitian Zanmis (friends), the people that I met during my last trip here, that broke my heart. It's unbelievable how many actually remember your face and don't forget you. Almost six months later... after meeting several dozen Healing Haiti teams.. and my Zamnis still remember me. It almost feels as though we have been connected on a deeper level than being materialistic friends; we have been brought together by a spiritual connection, one that is beyond materialistic value and the vocabulary in our human language.

It felt so great today to see our water truck drivers and have them still remember my face. I expected them to remember me since we interacted on several occasions over the course of my mission trip in January. What really broke my heart was seeing my little friend at our third water truck stop and having her run up to me immediately as I got off the truck. It was as though she knew I would be there! The minute I saw her, I remembered her face and every moment of our last encounter. She was the young girl that was trying to learn English from me and was glued by my side throughout our whole visit to the block during January. Just a half hour or so of simple play and language barriers..

Before I knew it she was calling my name and we were hugging as though we were sisters or life long friends. It was an instant attachment and bond as though I had never left. We hung out at the water stop nearly the whole time. She asked me to help her carry water buckets to her house, so I grabbed a few team members and carried her buckets. We sang Justin Bieber's Baby song together. She played with my hair and held on to me tight. The most amazing part of our interaction was that she kept taking care of me. While she was full of dirt and filth, she was so concerned about keeping me clean. She would clean my shirt, fix my shirt so that it was perfectly folded, adjust the straps on my tank top, tuck loose hairs behind my ears, and make sure that I still looked "good." It's an unbelievable experience to have happen to you; one that nearly blows your mind. This young girl cared more about me than she did about herself... after years of living in a culture where "me, myself, and I" come first for just about everyone, an experience like this, especially with a young child, just puts you into complete disbelief.

I am left speechless and nearly in tears thinking about our beautiful interaction (and trust me it takes a lot for me to cry..). This is what I love about Haiti, though. People that haven't been here can't quite grasp the full effect this place has on you. In a place full of filth and lack of essential resources, there remains some of the most beautiful people with hearts like gold.

Water

Today was the most amazing humbling experience. The opportunity to share something we take for granted **WATER** As we approached our first stop there was alot of people running and gathering with buckets kiddy pools empty rubber made tubs just about anything that would hold water. As the truck stopped and we got down to prepare I noticed the littlest baby crawling on the side of the road as her Mother stood in line for the chance to fill her buckets. I scooped her for some love and safely returned her to her Mother not before she left me with a warmed heart and a wet shirt. I have been greeted everywhere I turn with heart felt hugs and smiles. My love affair with Haiti has begun.

Shared by team member Stephanie

Haiti Day 2-the water truck

I really do not have words to explain everything I have seen. It will take my brain awhile to process it all. Today we took the water truck to 3 very poorest areas. As the water truck pulls in people come running with every kind of bucket to be filled with water. Kids come up to you and reachup to be held. We went to a watse area. On the edge of the ocean there is so much garbage and people use this area for a bathroom. The smell is terrble! The kids follow us and we are all singing praises to god! You should the beautiful smile and very nice teeth. No sugar like our kids have! Jill Forsman

Haiti Day 2

Today we took the wter truck to 3 very poor areas. It is amazing to watch the people gather with evry kind of bucket to fill with water. The first stop kids just reach for you to hold them. Beautiful little faces and I want to take everyone of them home. If you know me you aren't surprised. They are so smilely and they have amazing teeth! No sure to mess up their teeth like our kids do! We went to a waste area on the edge of the ocean. Garbage is everywhere and people use thie place for the bathroom. The smell is worrible, but the droves of kids follow us. We are all singing praises to God! Jill

Today we delivered water in Cite Soliel, one of the poorest slum areas in Haiti. I don't believe there are words to explain what we heard, saw, smelled, tasted & touched....there should be another sense to explain it.....a truly a (WithOut Words) WOW experience that is indescribable! The conditions these people live in are unimaginable yet they show such gratitude! The chidlren's smiles and laughter as they dance and sing " God is so good, God is so good, God is so good He's so good to us!" would melt even the hardest of hearts! I will never be the same!
written by: Michelle Schroeder
June 28th, 2011

First Dose of Haiti for Most of Our Team

We are officially in Haiti. Our travels were smooth with no major delays, problems or set backs. Haiti hasn't changed much since I was here in January. The place still looks the same, except it looks as though the Haitian airport has had some major improvements. It feels like I was just unboarding the plane in January. It's crazy how time just flies and I automatically step off the plane back into the feelings and emotions that captivated me throughout my last experience in Haiti. I felt so comforted as I saw our friendly Healing Haiti Haitian staff greet us with their bright smiling faces! A stream of excitement rushed over me as I saw Fan-Fan and Junior-- two of my Haitian friends! It's a funny thing here-- these people don't ever forget you! Junior hugged and greeted me as thought we were best friends. He picked up my suitcase and took my heavy backpack. I told him he didnt have too, but he insisted on helping and chuckled, smiled, and took the bags from me. Junior has such a giving heart and is always stepping up to help and to serve-- I could tell that he appreciate me allowing him the chance to serve me and be a servant of Christ.

It felt so great to be back in Haiti. It almost felt like I was home again, as we drove down the streets of Haiti in the Healing Haiti top-top (taxi like bus). Having been to Haiti before, it was awesome to see the excitement, the emotions and the reactions of my fellow team members as they were able to witness, first hand, the tent cities, the piles of garbage on the roads, and the sights, sounds and smells of Haiti.

After settling into our rooms at the mission home, playing ball in the courtyard, and finishing an awesome Haitian dinner, several of us took a stroll along the streets surrounding the mission home. I think the team members were shocked, amazed, and a bit shooken up over the brief encounter with Haiti! I could relate to their emotions and the overwhelmed experiences. However, this was nothing like what they will see tomorrow when we deliver water into the poorest slum in Western Hemisphere. Boy do they have no idea what is ahead of them! I am excited to help bring this experience to life for my group and allow them the chance to be moved, be touched, and be renewed by their encounters with the Haitian people.

Tonight during our team meeting I said a prayer for our group that they open themselves up to let themselves go and to be true servants of Christ. I encouraged them to not only serve these people, but to allow the Haitians to serve them as well! We are all apart of the Body Christ, therefore, we all have equal contributions in this life.

Father God, I ask that you watch over us tomorrow as we embark on an activity that will provide essential resources to our Brothers and Sisters of Haiti. Please open our eyes, our ears, and our hearts to doing your will. Help us to be open to You and the experiences we encounter-- shape us, use us and mend us into the people You have called us to be!

For my pictures, check out the link! https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.1822998536103.2091363.1274400099&l=731c1c4cd9

-Kristina

Prepare our Hearts, Oh Lord.

Malgre nou manke yon rad
pou ale legliz
nou manke manje lakay nou,
e nou gen selman dis kob nan poch nou,
gras Jezi sifi.

Ak gras sa a, nou rich.


Although we lack a dress
to wear to church,
lack food at home,
and have only two cents in our pockets,
the grace of Jesus is enough.

With this grace, we are rich.

- words taken from the book God is No Stranger (2004)

God,

I ask that you guide us over the next nine days as we pack our bags for Haiti. Prepare our hearts for what breaks yours and help us to see the world as you see it. Open our eyes to your people, and open our hearts to hear your will. Give us the grace, the power, and the strength to see ourselves as you see us-- broken, wounded, weak and powerless. Make us a humble servant before you so that we may do your will and serve you better.

Amen.